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my only bonafide escape

About Jorge Friends

Hello! my Name is Jorge, and i've got this urge to write what i feel, i don't like to really speak what i feel, it's easier to write it out for me, and here i' feel like i'm writing it to no-one and everyone at the same time, it's hard for me to expose myself to anyone completely, but i'm getting there, and this is a step forward, read and post as you like, replies are welcome.

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Jorge's Escape
"I don't do drugs: I am drugs" -Salvador Dali
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change is better served with a side of shock [July 17, 2007]
subject= theme of today,

lots of things happened.
no-one i know seems happy with their relationships

makes me kind of glad i'm single,
although a warm touch that wont be cold in the morning is very tempting

one night stands aren't all they're cracked up to be.

there isn't much i want to say here

i ran about 20 meters today and my ipod started working again today too.

which is awesome
need to take a day off (friday) for my driving test.
need to see carolina for her b'day party

need to do many things

i booked an appointment with a counselor to get some help
nothing rash, something more like a re-adjustment to life.
i know what i want, i need to write it down, and i need to get on the path to it

i just can't keep up the pace...

i'll start running, then i'll stop about a week later ( you can see that by my shitty run-o-meter stats)

i scored a goal on the weekend tho! wooo
mike melissa and denys were there
they didn't seem too impressed i don't think

it's ok i like it i enjoy it
i was just wondering what will happen when i run out of hockey games,

this is where i can hopefully get some help from
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cleaning, no time for chat bruvva! [May 30, 2007]
been cleaning my room, and a little bit ere and there of the house,

going to have to try and be a good boy for as long as possible, might even stop smoking if life permits it

i stress cause i smoke,
i smoke cause i stress


such is the neverending enigma.
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Canberra with Dee, and PIRATES!! ARRRR [May 10, 2007]
getting ready for canberra and Pirate PArty!

quite happy about getting out of the city for a few days,
to another depressing city, lol

with NEW PEOPLE! to meet and to shoot!

yay

i hope i get some nandos..
probably aiming too high.

i'm going to get drunk with denys!!!
W00t!
ARRR!
byebye!
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[April 30, 2007]
last few days have been full of drinking, my body is not wanting anything,
for a few days i couldn't taste a thing.
hung over constantly
my body is only starting to recover now.
it was tired from the pain and bullshit of a constant drinker.


i got home and the place is a nice clean mess
nice = living room
clean = kitchen
mess= jorge's roomn
so i'm fixing it..
but slowly

i'm trying to get off the cigs. i didn't smoke today
and i didn't feel like it
i mean i ate like over 100 cigs over the weekend.
so you can't blame my body for going (hmmm fuck it)

i do feel like something for a little while
but then i remind myself that i smoked alot and i drank alot and now i have no more money
for anything

so i should learn my lesson and stop whinging about smokign and drionking
and concentrate on living properly.


i go alittle nuts when im alone all by myself.
i need a little bit fo human touch.
but i think space is paramount.
so i'm alone on the weekedays
and i go out on the weekends.
it's alittle wierd. i think it may be in the blood,

chileans in their habitats are usually very community oriented people!

i donw know what i'm blabbering bout.

founds some photos online.
they looked good but i've never been on go much go at that time
it was a alittle wierd.
im a little wierd.
but everyone knows that
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[April 23, 2007]
for years i wished of a life with you. for a few years i actually had it, and now a year or so has passed and again i fin myself wishing that i had you again.

but i've found someone to love, someone worth wishing a life for.

me
ha
fuck you all!
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[April 23, 2007]
i' goign to fail everything.
nothign more to say.
i need a 'garette.
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the last for a few, [April 15, 2007]
went to the last dnBBQ last night, was awesome. in a sence.
i played alot of hackysac.
and dranks lots of redbull.i'm buggereed now, from all the dancing like a fuckwit. ha ha ah

there isn't much to say.

i do wanna get off the smokes tho.
they bug me when i have to carry themaround.
peace.
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SMOKING IS ADDICTIVE [April 11, 2007]
but i wouldn't notice, life's too short to care, life's too short to mind others business.
fuck it have another spit and drag (fag)
have another cig
have another dotch
have another durry
have another winfield.
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Andes and you, my love. [April 11, 2007]
the andes mountains are one of the most beautiful things i've ever seen,
they make me shiver eveytime i see them
like some kind of in-grown love, long lost, coming back to haunt me
but in the best way possible.
it's the best feeling just staring at those oranges and reds
like a fire ignites inside and dares me to climb it
sit atop of it and breathe,
cause that's what life is about.
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Dreams, Twin threesomes, and ipods [April 11, 2007]
i had a dream my good friend diana last night,
it was so sweet, but then you were there again, and it was like a threesome.
and it was wierd, but i felt so happy.

you were so hot, and dear to me
it was wierd...
then another dream, or was it the same dream, i had my ipod in, and whenever i took my earphones (not headphones) out, i couldn't hear what was going on. cause the music was the same volume,a dn i could hear anything

i woke up later on and i still had my earphones in. and the same music was playing...
so i guess the music went through into my dreams.. that's kinda cool but it was frustrating


dreams are funny. and so are you
goodbye.
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acid. [April 02, 2007]
so sick of trying

she's in my dreams,
and it shits me
i'm totally over everything.
test 2morrow, but we're drinking at my house tonight
they're hooking me up with michaels cousin..
ghey. i just wanna get drunk, eat noodles, and watch katie on acid.
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Pierced, and again. [March 06, 2007]
a test today, it was boring, photonics, boring.
there's nothing but anger in my brain.

anger, noodles and cigarettes, drink.

blah. yesterday i spent some money.

i dont like to do that now that i have to pay for my tafe course, the whole thing gay 630 bucks i don't have.


i message people and they don't message back. i don't get it. whats wrong with them i'm trying to be a nice guy and share the love, share the problems. etc etc.


but nothing.
i get nothing.

boo hoo~

on the bright side i'm getting a piercing 2morrow... probably a tregus!
aaaaarrgghh looks like it's going to hurt.

anyway i'm goig to ewat and get on with life, instead of mulling over an internet connection..


good day!
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[March 05, 2007]
i mean it was a daydream...
i was at the alter, and she was there, and we did the whole marriage thing, and the kissing thing.

i never fucking do that...
why the fuck is this woman torturing me!

i fucking hate it.
when i'm overcome, and i can't bring myself to do it.
i almost talked to her on saturday night, i wrote the message, and everything and i almost sent it too, i almost did. it was a horrbile feeling, just like when i had that tequila shot i didn't want,
an uneasyness in the stomach, a flu in the gut.
a punch in the diaphragm...


i'm a fucker.
complete and utter nutter,
is anyone listening to me?!
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[March 05, 2007]
i love you, but i'm not allowed, not anymore.
it hurts, but i can still see myself with you,

i can't even bring myself to mesage you
it hurts. not cause of the response, but of what it'd make you feel. and that's not what i want

i've only ever wanted the best for you.
ever.
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Heroes, Queens, and Kings of sydney on a night like tonight.. well tonight. not now. [March 03, 2007]
[ mood | Hung Over. ]

4 days till the next episode of heroes. i think its' good to have some sort of routine like this.

i think too much,
it's quite amusing, i seem to have most things under control, then i think about it. and i mess it up

last night though, i didn't think about much, and it ended up getting me introuble.

it's not my fault my friends girlfriend wanted to dance with me.
and people tell me i dance seductively. i don't get it honestly. i just dance....
and it ends up hurting people.
that's why i don't like to dance..
might go mardi gras tonight.
there's always mad clubbing on mardi gras night.
MAD clubbing.
you just gotta watch out for the poofies grabbing your ass.
and my nipples... fuck that would hurt. but it's cool, i'll hit them,
no i won;t

i think too much.
but at least i'm typing them out here, and exit to my madness

they say genuises have always been thought as eccentric in their time...
maybe i am one of those people.
maybe not
probably not.
nah.
ha!
!

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[February 28, 2007]
things are going relatively ok, the biggest test, is seeing if i can catch up on my TAFE work, and organise stuff before i end up writing myself off on the weekend, which i don't want to do, every weekend seems so packed witht things to do it's horrible i want to go out, but i need to be at home alone, tending to myself.

i need to be strong, and neglect some people. as much as i hate it
grrr. sometimes it's just not fair.
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restraint. [February 20, 2007]
Restraint is..
trying so hard not to message her, cause you know it will hurt/amger her
not drinking cause you know what will happen if you do



i can't even think straight..
this post is over.
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friends... [February 13, 2007]
i can't handle friends at the moment, i mean i don't want to talk to them,
i do too much talking,
i just wanna get my shit sorted,
but that's not going to happen, not as long as i have this lust for friends,
all i do is hinder my efforts, progressions and end results by either telling too many people, and then they instill their thoughts, ( as rightor wrong as they may be)na dmake me either change my mind or just fucking give me the shits to the point where i lose my attention for the subject, my will and drive for the end result.

green picture for this entry, only cause it's how i felt when i got that photo taken, alone, happy and content with myself,

maybe i'm desitned to be alone, i mean all they end up doing is hurting me.
so i'm not going to speak to them...


happy fucking valentines day... and i hope you all buy presents, flowers and chocolates, to make the world a better place. hahhaha bullshit.
goodbye awesome journal, that doesn't give me shit or judges.
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Love is Unatainable, [February 12, 2007]
oh it's so true, but i'm not worried, love isn't as fun as lust,
and it lasts less and costs less..

the positives should be looked at in this perspective.
i'm going to katie's birthday party on the weekend
i called her and asked her what she wanted for her birthday, she seemed uninterested in the whole prospect of me buying her shit..
that shits me, i mean she's allowed to buy me a friggin birthday present, and i can't buy her one... fuck that.
you suck katie.

in other news i'm still poor and still smoking,
i'm trying to organise my money and move out, but it looks like it's not happening, the money's too tight, i'll have to stay here in lidcombe, so what i'll decide to do is pay as much of the stuff as i can off ( dad, schippy's loan) and then get a car and a license, i mean car's aren't cheap, but they're fun, and if i wanna go out on the weekend, i can do that, cause i won't be able to drink, andi can drive people around, cause it's cheaper, and i won't have to drink :D i can stil lhave fun, i'm the best at being a hypo kid, i just have to get used to it.

and i can go hard, and camping, and go and see ems, and have a merry old time,

and i'll be able to see aurora and katie as well, without having to sleep on the couch!

nice one bruvva...
now i just need to work up some courage to do it all

help me people of livejournal!!
ohh fuck it only person to help myself is me, FUCKYEAH!

ok i'll stop talking to myself and i'll be a little bit saner.
ok bye!
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and i'm all like.... what the fuck just happened? [February 09, 2007]
yeah that's all i have to really say but friday night is turning out to be wierd, i think i've just lost a good friend.
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